Minimal

Fancy a riot pint?

There I was, trying to text a friend to say “Eeeeeeh... the dodgy bar stewards!”, with reference to a local garage’s inconsistency (some would say lying) about MOT results. I figured I’d just hit the 3 key enough times for the phone to run out of alternatives in its dictionary and resort to an exclamation. It took longer than I thought. Since when has “Feedededddededfeee” been a valid word in the dictionary? As Jim Royle would no doubt say, “Predictive text? My arse.”

Special stuff

Manslaughter verdict for cannibal [BBC News]
Refreshingly, in a case so sensational, a jury has returned a verdict that seems pretty much spot on. Sure, he took advantage of his victim accomplice, but you could hardly call it murder.

Anyway, I’m not really sure that Armin Meiwes, the diner in question, was quite as messed up as his dinner was. I mean, come on, you’re all curious, right? What do you reckon? Chicken or pork? ;) But to want to be eaten? That’s just not right. The guy needed counselling, not cooking.

Lost for words

From the nufc.com front page:

It's now virtually certain that Newcastle will allow Peruvian international midfielder Nolberto Solano to leave the club, with the player currently meeting with officials from Aston Villa in the Midlands to agree personal terms.

Bobby, you've f•••ed up big time here. You really have.

Brass monkeys

I realise it’s a little bah-humbug, but am I the only one around here who hates the snow? As anyone who’s ever shaken my hand will know (comments about the governor of love will be studiously ignored), I’ve got shockingly poor circulation at the best of times. This whole winter wonderland thing, while looking very pretty, just leaves me cold. Literally.

Right, that’s it, I’m off home to a bowl of Scotch Broth and a nice, warm bed. Wrap up well, kiddies. :)

The Rockingham Report

Ok, maybe that last post was a little too techie. I was just testing the waters, honest. Anyway, back to something more familiar: me having a laugh in my car. Not a bad way to celebrate its first birthday, really. :)

Test-Driven Development and mock objects

At work, we’ve recently moved to agile development methods and generally updated our practices. One of the things we’ve adopted is Test-Driven Development (“TDD”). From the things I’ve read and heard about it, you’d think it’s some kind of panacea, not only improving quality assurance, but also improving your code design.

From what I understand, TDD promotes highly-cohesive, loosely coupled designs — things we were taught to strive for at university, but which I’ve rarely created. Now, it’s really happening, but there was an uncomfortable hurdle to get over first. As with so many things that are evangelised, the downside of loose coupling was never really addressed.

From my experiences, loosely coupled classes tend to mean an increase in the amount of setup code you have to write in order to use them — setup code that has to be repeated everywhere you use the class. Such repetition is often cited as an evil thing elsewhere, so it seems to me that TDD is not without its downsides.

I still believe there are more pluses than minuses, mind. I’m now in a position to write automated unit tests and to use mock objects to keep an eye on the collaborations of the class under test. It’s a wonderfully reassuring safety net that I’ve never had before and there are many more benefits beside that. I just wish the evangelists of TDD were a little more open to acknowledging the trade-offs you would be making by adopting it.

Have a nice day

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I got genuinely excited about something I’m involved with at work. And for once, I’m not just excited at the possibilities that are open to us, I’m excited about the things we’re actually doing. We’ve been freed from years of legacy code and, finally, good things are happening. Good times lie ahead. Whatever you’re doing and wherever you are, I hope you’re having as good a day as me. :)

Speaking of six points...

...thank you, Fulham. You put up absolutely no resistance at St James’s park last night, thus handing Newcastle a double for the season. Not to mention a fiver return from a 50p stake — Newcastle to win 3-1 at odds of 10/1. :) If only the other 20-odd quid betted this season had returned that nicely. Or at all.

Getting back to the match, it really highlighted the gulf between the top three teams and the chasing(?) pack. How Fulham got as high as they did is beyond me. Granted, they’ve had Saha until now, but I can’t believe he’s made that much difference. The Cottagers (George Michael’s a fan, no doubt) were very average. To be fair, the three goal lead we had flattered Newcastle too. Still, if Man Utd and Chelsea continue to drop points and we continue to improve, there’s time yet to put the frighteners up the top three. Howay the lads!

Rotherham United vs. Norwich City, with infinite windchill

It might not sound like your idea of a great way to spend a Saturday, but it was a cracking game (match report). Goals galore (final score was 4-4) including a last-minute equaliser, plus plenty of controversy from dubious goals on both sides, a punch-up in the tunnel and subsequent sending-off. Splendid stuff, and all thanks to Sky shifting the Newcastle vs. Fulham game to Monday. Well, ok, my presence was thanks to Sky. And a friend’s invite. And a need to bed-in some new brakes on the Mini. Moving on...

Darren Huckerby, now putting them away for Norwich after an unsuccessful stint at Man City, looked a class above most of the players on show. I can’t help feeling he’s dropped a division just to put himself back in the shop window, despite signing a 2½ year contract with the Canaries. Maybe someone will swoop for him in the summer. Or maybe Norwich will just get promoted. For the first time in years, it’s looking a reasonably likely prospect. I can’t ever see them recapturing the glory of games against Bayern München and Internazionale, but the Premiership’s not beyond their abilities this year. Staying there might be another matter, mind. Still, good luck to them. Should be a nice six points. ;)

All change

In a morally repugnant bout of hacking that I’d resisted for well over a year, I’ve given in to the lure of a quick solution. Et voila, comments. I feel dirtier than Christine Aguilera.

Oh, and if you find loads of things that are bust, tell me about it, but bear with me. I’ve only put this stuff live so that I’m forced into completing the work. Cheers. :)

Note to self: after testing a new page and getting it working, remember not to delete the files it uses. *cough*

In the absence of integrated RSS...

Here’s a link to show that I’ve already achieved one of my goals for 2004: Run, Forrest, Run! on petrolhead. At least it’s got a comments form. Not like this piece of-

Mission to Mars

How to get re-elected in one easy step, by George W. Bush. Dammit, I’d sooner sacrifice the dream than see that bastard back in office. :(

One for the grammar pedants

Found via a Raymond Chen sideswipe at Microsoft’s appaling speeling, this correction of a marketing slogan is splendid.

I was having a really crap end to the day till I stumbled upon it. (I’ll leave that rant for another time.) Right now, I’m just giggling at rediscovering the word “cromulent”. I must use it more often, especially when talking to the tech authors in the company. In fact, I might just add the insertion of cromulent into one of our software manuals as another goal for 2004. That plus the goal of not getting sacked for taking the piss. :)

Aaah... the sweet, sweet smell of burning rubber

There can’t be many better ways to spend a day off work than blatting round an airfield in someone else’s car. Today, therefore, I’m a happy camper. :)

Life-changing resolutions? Pah. Just get better at what you do.

Well, welcome to the space year 2004 AD. It’s the future already! Tradition dictates that I should make some empty promises of self-improvement at this point, but I’m not falling for that again. First, why only at New Year? And secondly, anyone who makes resolutions in the belief they’ll fundamentally change their nature is kidding themselves.

For example, there’s no way on earth I’m going to join a gym again, no matter how much good it would do me. Nor will I attend evening classes or do volunteer work abroad (well, maybe, but I’m not promising). Realistically, I might just do the following things — because I enjoy them, dammit:

• Go for a few proper walks involving proper hills. Well, as proper as they get in England. With any luck, this will involve a stop in the Lakes, which is never a bad thing.
• Score, or set up, more than 5 goals of which I can be justifiably proud at the weekly 5-a-side. I managed only two in 2003, although one of them does still make me grin when I think about it (he says, grinning).
• Ride my bike on more than two occasions. Actually, that might be a bit ambitious. ;) Perhaps keeping it in the flat instead of my parents’ garage might help?
• Keep in touch with old friends a bit better. Yeah, I know, it’s a lame old thing that everyone says, but last October’s college reunion was too good to do only once every ten years.
• More trackdays. Last year’s taster was tempered by soggy brakes, but it’s only increased my desire to do a good one. New stoppers go on this weekend to get them bedded in for Rockingham on the 24th. Hurrah!
• Get through to the third round of the Michelin Renault Scholarship. Not long to wait for this one — round 2 is tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

If I can end the year with most of those ticked off, I’ll be a happy puppy. Right then, let’s see what I do manage...

Update: Bah! I said I wouldn’t make any resolutions and look what I did. How weak I am. :)

Highlights

Hope you had a better Christmas and New Year than the Beagle 2 team. Shame about that, eh? Mine started out pretty crap, but got much better towards New Year, starting with:

• Friends rescuing me from Boredom City, Nebraska, to go on a crisp winter walk at Allen Banks
• Discovering, whilst channel-hopping, that High Fidelity is a very good film indeed
• New Year’s Eve at Jack & Lou’s, complete with the traditionally splended mulled wine
• Sponging two mighty-fine roast dinners from friends over the course of 3 or 4 days
• Winning my first ever strategy-based board game (Settlers of Catan)
• Finally completing GTA: Vice City

In fact, two thirds of those things were down to the Jack-Lou-Linz-Cath collective, so thanks very much guys — you made it a very cool yule. :)